I only kidnapped one of them. chill
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
where are my eyebrows?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
