so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like eating out sand paper
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
