my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Operation Purity has been aborted
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
