What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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