I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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