Little spoons don't ask big questions
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
