remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
