Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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