Whod you bang
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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