I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize