so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
