This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
