you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
