I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
