moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
