This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
