R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
