Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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