Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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