I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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