No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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