So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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