i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
