i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
