i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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