the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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