Where are you?
In a non slutty way
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
