You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
