he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
