it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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