I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
