you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
