No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
