I saw his package. It spoke to me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's shark week go big or go home
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
