why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
