You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
