life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have post one night stand depression
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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