hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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