Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
