Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
