So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
