Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
