be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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