Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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