don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think people are normalizing furries
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
