I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Vodka?
Forever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
