There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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