The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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