Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
