He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
