I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
