I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
