Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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