don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
