We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
