I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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