party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
