? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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