i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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