That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
