i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your penis caused this!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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