In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
