it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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