Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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