Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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