We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
