Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
