Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
did i just pee glitter
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
