THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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