All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize