If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
