You just made me feel so damn special
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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