I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
