I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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